She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
