I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
