Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize