Cold hands, warm shart.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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