It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
