I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize