What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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