What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
