It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
