they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
