sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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