I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
