I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize