making cat noises will not fix the situation.
No subtext here. People are naked.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
