Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize