I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
