Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
