is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
wow bdsm is so cute
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