i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
