2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
