you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
