I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
