the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize