I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Randomize
