He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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