In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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