I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
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Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
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Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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