shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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