your thong is hanging out like whoa
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
me + whiskey = a bad person
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
