Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
