Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
