that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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