no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
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