i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
