if you like me you must not know who I am
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
