you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
