So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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