I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
