Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
