I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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