Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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