Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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