if you like me you must not know who I am
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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