one two three fourrrrnication!
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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