Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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