i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
So apparently I’m into choking now
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
