I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
