K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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