I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
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