hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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