my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
