hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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