I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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