check it out our google latitudes are spooning
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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