So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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