Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
