i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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