Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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