But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
