Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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