The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Randomize
