I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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