I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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