We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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