i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
