I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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