I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
