I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
