Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
